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Communication Breakdown

I was driving on the freeway the other day when I saw a car, in my side view mirror, racing up to get ahead of me and pass me before his lane ended. He could have just as easy pulled up behind me but for whatever reason he felt the need to pass me and get ahead of me. This was a very dangerous move and could have ended in tragic accident to himself and other drivers I’m sure.

I thought, why was this individual in such a hurry, that they would endanger themselves and others just to pass up a car on the freeway? It is the pace of our world today. So many people are running at a break neck speed to get where they need to go. We don’t know how to stop and smell the roses. We don’t know how to relax. I think this is at an epidemic stage right now in our world.

It has spilled over into our communication skills as well. What do you do when the communication melt down hits your home?

Listening and sharing feelings is at the heart of what communication is all about. We all see things from our own vantage point. This creates my very own opinions about things that are mine. I own these opinions. They may differ from yours, but it doesn’t mean they are wrong. They are just mine, and you have yours. When we come to differing points of view, these can actually become bridges that validate our views and opinions,help each other to get to know and understand who we really are. Validation simply means that you value the other person’s views and opinions. They are important to you to help you understand who they are and how they feel. It does not mean you have to agree with them.

If during a conflict, I decide to go the other route and force my views down on the other person, and get angry because they don’t agree with me or because they feel a different way than I do, all I am doing is bulling my views down their throats. There is no validation. There is no understanding. There is no communication. There is no relationship.

Please take the time to sit down with your spouse, your friend, your kids, your parents, and listen to how they see things. How do they feel about something and why? Just the fact that you took the time to sit down with them and validate their views and opinions is telling them how much you love and care about them. You will both walk away with a little more understanding and lot more love in your hearts toward one another. I guarantee that you will feel a twenty pound load lifted off yourself. It is a great feeling.

Stop racing your life through the freeway like that driver I spoke of at the beginning of this article. Take some time. Pull off the road for a awhile and take the time to really communicate with someone you love. Learn to listen with your heart . It will change your life forever.

I’m Brian Gosur

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